ending therapy with a borderline client

You can try searching for "clinical-updates". Here's how we found a solution that worked for both of them. 3)Psychotherapeutic professionals are afraid they'lllosea client, if they confront them with this information. Whatever the motives, abrupt endings leave both client and therapist to do the 'ending work' by themselves to handle residual feelings of regret, loss, disappointment, resentment, shame and rejection. It's a shame that their cerebral brilliance worksagainstthem during true recovery work, and they fall (or jump) off the grid. This is due to an old 'superstition' which was acquired during their childhood; "If I feeltoogood, somethingreallybad's gonna happen!" Think through all of your options to make the best decision for you. We hear her rhythmic breathing and constant heartbeat (which often lulls us to sleep), and share her oxygen and blood supply. The most disconcerting and tragic personality aspect in BPD individuals, is their entrenched need to self-sabotage. TheBorderline Waifinstantly triggers your sympathy, and you'll wanna bend over backwards to help him/her untangle the mess they're in, unless you've become a seasoned professional who can spot these folks within seconds of meeting them. Read more Client Motivation therapy techniques , Free therapy techniques from Uncommon Knowledge, Nothing does, or should, last forever - including therapy. Thanks very much! This is particularly important if you terminate the relationship because of fit issues or because you are unqualified to treat the client. ending therapy with a borderline client. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses. But many people leave therapy before they have reached their treatment goalsresearch shows that about 47 percent of people with BPD leave treatment prematurely. The Borderline may develop 'roles' they've come to use within their everyday life, which allow them to navigate on 'auto-pilot' and perform spousal, parental or professional tasks, while being disconnected from any genuine emotions and needs. As a counsellor, you should plan for endings where possible, seeing the ending as a process, not a one-off event.. Many core injured people presume there was some sort of "major trauma" that occurred during childhood that left them impaired, but what's far more accurate is that there were dozens, maybe hundreds of little emotional betrayals and disappointments that cumulatively derailed this child's capacity to trust someone with their care. The client has a serious and formal . Without acute anguish, they might feel emptiness or numbness, and it scares them. Learning we have BPD traits is a hard pill to swallow, but it's not a death sentence~ and itispossible to recover with the right kind of help, and one's serious dedication to getting Well. Some can be abrasive and abusive~ and while you might tolerate or encourage their rage, you should not agree to be their whipping post. Many Borderlines who've contacted me for help have named this painful inner craving, "Love Addiction." The question then, that begs to be asked here is: How can one recognize and effectively go about treating someone with BPD traits, when they haven't begun to acknowledge these aspects within themselves?? I've discussed this aspect fairly thoroughly within myBPD malepiece, and a bit of illumination can go a long way toward understanding the Borderline's need to self-destruct--even within an exemplary treatment protocol: Neither Borderlines nor Narcissists can tolerate therapeutic misattunements. 1 View; 0 comments . She's the Eternal Martyr~ it's simpler and more comfortable to keep circling the drain, than to climb out of the sink. The following account by an articulate BPD sufferer, offers salient advice for doctors who may wonder sometimes (or often) what their BPD patients want them to know and do. Any psychic and/or emotional wounds incurred thereafter, reinforce one's sense that he/she isn't lovable, or worthy of genuine affection, protection and care. (n.d.). Borderlines may develop a 'crush' on their clinician as this relationship solidifies. 7 Tips on how to end therapy 1. The Borderline's core abandonment wounds make it difficult for them to trust a clinician with their care, but it's a mistake to tell anyone with BPD that you will never abandon them! 3 Ways to Communicate Client Responsibility in Therapy, How To Turn Vague Therapy Goals Into Actionable Steps, Working with Resistant Clients: 3 Tried and Tested Tips, Why Affirmations and Compliments Dont Boost Low Self Esteem, Copyright 2023 Uncommon Knowledge Ltd, All Rights Reserved, https://www.unk.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/How-to-end-therapy-with-your-clients.mp3, Everyone has basic needs for attention and intimacy, understands that the role of the therapist is to help the client with specific problems and not to meet their basic needs on an ongoing basis. Learning toask youfor a hug or have you spoon them in bedameliorates the shame they feel about having any needs. Often, the only attention they got, was during occasions of grave injury or illness. Due to this client's monumental issues with confrontation, they may quit their job if there's ongoing discord/friction with a co-worker or boss, even if it's a position they reallyloverather than taking a stand for their needs, and commanding the other's respect. If a therapist determines that they are no longer able to provide adequate care for someone, codes of ethics require them to refer the client to another professional who is better suited to their needs. When life starts feeling good, they're filled with anxiety, asgoodfeelings (whether in personal or professional realms) are totally foreign to their experience, and must be gotten rid of. Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing ineating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change. 28 Personality Disorder. A Borderline tries to gain a sense of Self through engagement with others. on December 12, 2022 in Living on Automatic. Avoiding these two reactive phrases can up your game and have long-term benefits for the kid. ending therapy with a borderline client ending therapy with a borderline client en diciembre 13, 2021 en diciembre 13, 2021 There are treatments that work and are safe. The initial Honeymoon phase in a new romance with a BPD lover replicates the initial bonding period we had with our mothersin-utero. We hear the tone of her voice, and grow very familiar with her language style, the cadence of her speech and how she uniquely enunciates her words. In fact, the international guidelines for the treatment of depression suggest that if your depressed client doesnt feel significantly better after five sessions you should refer them on to another professional (1). Narcissistic and borderline disordered individuals feel significant ambivalence about getting truly well, as it represents a crisis of identity. Unfortunately, learned survival instincts and defenses prompt disruptive acting-out episodes and distancing behaviors in even potentiallyclose relationships. Remember that the purpose of therapy is to support the client, not the therapist. You might think of it as on-the-job training. Miraculously enough, my schooling never touched on this pervasive universal disorder, and yet my understanding of it cumulatively expanded through assisting clients who'd never forged healthy, enduring attachments, nor been able to tolerate or endure darker emotions without compulsively analyzing them. Helping Borderlines heal, means teaching them how to toleratetheir owndifficult feelings, so they can begin to identify with andrelateto another's. Be sure to keep your counter-transferencein check while working with a BPD client, for he/she can easily triggeryour ownunresolvedcore trauma issues. Termination can be difficult for children, especially when the child does not have many stable adults in their life or when the child has experienced numerous losses. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a diagnosis characterized by intense and labile emotion; dialectical behavior therapy, a common treatment for BPD, aims to reduce the intensity and lability of clients' emotion through multiple methods, some of which occur in the therapy session, with the expectation that changes will generalize to the rest of clients' lives. This all good/all bad reflex is central to borderline pathology, and is referred to assplitting. "Death by a thousand cuts," is how one of my clients aptly described his experiences as a child with his mother. Does quitting therapy still seem like a good idea? DBT therapy differs from traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in that it emphasizes personal validation. Though the therapist may counter argue or suggest that more time in therapy would be appropriate, they should never pressure the client to stay or become visibly upset at the thought of termination. The Proliferation and Appeal of On-Campus Therapy Dog Programs, Treatment of Anxiety in Patients With Chronic Disease, How to Help Kids Decide to Spend Less Time Playing Video Games, How an Argument About Body Hair Helped a Marriage, 2 Things It's Best Not to Say to Children With ADHD, Re-parenting Yourself by Not Pushing Yourself. What lies at the heart of successful treatme When there are serious disagreements between the therapist and client, or the client accuses the therapist of unethical behavior, the relationship usually must end. There is no right length of time to be in therapy. Preventing burnout is accomplished by remaining stable, by mastering the skills required to effectively work with this population, and by having access and taking advantage of the emotional support offered through co-workers, supervisors, and the agency and system, as a whole. If treatment is ended/curtailed without ample emotional growth, this client typically resumes faulty entrenched behaviors, andrecreatestheir trauma over and over again, indefinitely. Friendships with past clients are a gray areatheyre not explicitly forbidden, and do occur, but many therapists would still decline to socialize with a former client. The tragic outcome of this type of upbringing, is the child grows up with the ideation theydeservethis brutality, and perpetuate the parents' abuse by beating up on themselves every day, and attaching to lovers who echo/mirror how badly they truly feel about themselves. Personal Perspective: I recently encountered one of my greatest fears. In short, how they've behaved with others, is precisely how they'll eventually behave with their therapist. Therapists supply a service. If at all possible, refer a client to a highly qualified therapist who specializes in their issues. A young therapist (someone new to the business) is taken in by this, and never questions the issue of projectionon the Borderline's part. It doesn't have to be. This is a very common pattern within personal attachments, and therapeutic ones as well. Alesiani, R., Boccalon, S., Giarolli, L., Blum, N., and A. Fossati. Even if a bigger/sturdier plank floats by, you can't see beneath the water's surface to determine if it will support your weight, sofear of the unknownkeeps you from leaving the one you're on. Kids who cannot develop defenses and coping strategies to ameliorate their anguish, often orchestrate their own exit plan, and suicide by traffic incident or catastrophic fall is not uncommon among these tragically unhappy children. A termination letter memorializes the end of therapy as well as the reasons for termination. Talk about termination in the last session. You can get my book FREE when you subscribe to my therapy techniques newsletter. (Remember the power of the placebo effect!). Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking errors, and they affect a person's thoughts, feelings, and reactions to upsetting situations. It's literally heartbreaking to witness this happening over and over again, and there's no other way to view this phenomenon, than asAbandonment of the Self~which is alearned response to having endured a litany of psychic and emotional setbacks during childhood, over which they had no control. It can help clarify the nature of and reason for termination, especially if a client is emotional or angry during your termination meeting. stephen scherr family; nigel jones philadelphia. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. No matter how patient, tender and warm a 'surrogate mother' I was to these clients, they managed to make some strides, but didn't actually recover. In most cases, the client will choose to end therapy; there are also situations in which a therapist decides to end sessions and refer a client elsewhere. In the January/February 2009 issue of The Therapist, hypothetical situations involving the termination of clients were represented in four vignettes.Members were invited to respond to a set of questions analyzing the potential ethical/legal issues reflected in the vignettes, and to comment on the availability of options for each of the therapists depicted in the vignettes. Many, M. M. (2009). So deeply ingrained are theirchildhoodfears of confrontation and/or reprisal, most will avoid direct contact at any cost. Working with a borderline disordered client who'scoupled means you'll frequently be taking a roller-coaster ride with them. Providing access to therapy dogs is a low-cost and low-barrier way to help college students reduce stress and anxiety. Goodbyes are not easy. With a bit of digging, it became clear the therapist had almost identical feelings as a child in response to a volatile, yet fragile parent (typically, Mother). Why won't he resume with the last one who helped? Click here to subscribe free now. The Borderline may try to elicit your sympathy by telling you stories about rape or sexual abuse,but that doesn't mean it happened. Boundaries - when they cross that line, address it right then and there. This is no easy task of course, because the Borderline's been in his/her head lifelong,mentallyanalyzingall their feelings(like you have)since they were about two years old, and gained vocabulary. It's called 'tough love,' and it's often the only way you'll get their attention and keep them on track with the progress you're wanting to help them make. But when a therapist is not a good fit for a client or there is an issue in the relationshipsuch as repeated no-shows or dissatisfaction with therapyhandling termination is even more important. For example, a therapist counseling a new parent with postpartum depression might mutually agree with the client to terminate therapy when depression symptoms go into remission. The BPD client craves a sense of intimacy, and yearns to be fully understood andknown during treatment. In short, you'll regularly experience therapeutic burn-out. or click here to download the mp3 and listen later. Figure out the 'why' behind it Your reason for ending therapy could run the gamut from thinking "my therapist is frustrated with me" to feeling abandoned. When the ending of therapy is a one-sided decision - you may one day decide you have had enough of therapy and stop coming. Keep in mind that your therapist does what she does because she wants to help people. It isn't that Casanovacan'tbe helped--it's that hewon'tbe. Aside from their fear of change which feels frighteningly destabilizing, they tend to rebel against useful, meaningful intervention~ especially if there are BPD Waiffeatures present. Any separation during the very early part of a baby's life greatly impacts his sense of lovability. Only then, are they equipped to surrender their acting-out behaviors and BPD features. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations. helps the clients be clear about what these needs are and how to meet them effectively in their own life. 4. I'd say the primary issue with the Borderline in treatment, is their resistance to trusting someone/anyone with their care, due to painful disappointments and setbacks throughout childhood, that undermined their ability to feel protected and emotionally safe with their parental units. Borderlines seldom seek helpuntilthey're in crisis. Dialectic Behaviour Therapy (DBT) This is a special adaptation of cognitive therapy, originally used for the treatment of women with borderline personality disorder who harmed themselves repeatedly. Therapists retire or move their practices far away. * Call the SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), for free, confidential support for substance abuse treatment. A positive sign that its time to end therapy is if the client feels theyve accomplished the goals they first set out to achieve. With this new two-video set on Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Marsha Linehan demonstrates key interventions of the renowned approach she created, in an engaging and intense reenactment of a course of therapy with a client who has recently attempted suicide. A new therapist can help the client process lingering feelings of discomfort or stress about the previous termination. I've noticed this trait most prominently among hyper-religious clients who appear to need rigid parameters or disciplines set forth by a church, synagogue, yoga or Buddhist practice. Sadly, this reflex becomes habituated, for it eases his fear of impending disappointment and ensuing devastation from any/allunforeseendisasters that 'might' lay ahead, but it also spawns serious control issues,anxiety disorders, OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) traits, and their need to argue or distance, after especially enjoyable episodes with you. Ending a therapeutic relationship that isn't working will allow you to find support that better suits your needs whether it's in online therapy or traditional therapy. You can also get my articles on YouTube, find me on Instagram, Amazon, Twitter, and Facebook. This therapeutictransferenceissue is very natural/normal within context of doing meaningful, growth-oriented work withall clients, whether borderline disordered or not. Hardy, J. Let's consider six strategies to establish and communicate healthy boundaries with your therapy clients. A number of randomized controlled trials (RCTs) have demonstrated the efficacy of outpatient dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) [] for the treatment of patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) [2-11].Five of these studies compared DBT with treatment-as-usual (TAU) [2-6], one study with a client-centered approach [], one study with TFP and supportive therapy [] and two other . If a client later claims you abandoned them, the termination letter may offer some protection. Even when acting-out behaviors self-destructively catalyze excruciating pain beyond that with which they're already struggling, the temptation for someone with BPD features to create these instances is, at least they've orchestrated those changes~ and a subtle sense of relief and power exists in this. For this Borderline to begintoleratinglove, success and a real sense of joy, there has to be a paradigm shift. Therapy brings up many emotions, and it's very common for people to want to give up or to feel that nothing will really help. While a termination letter may feel needlessly formal, particularly in the case of a long-term client whom you like and trust, its wise to err on the side of caution. She could have made him her confidant in adult matters--especially concerning issues with his dad. It's mostly this client's manipulation tactic~ so try to resist indulging them by giving into it. UntreatedADD issuescan inhibit solid BPD recovery outcomes as well. The unique struggle this can present to clinicians is monumental, as their natural priority is to be gentle with the patient/client, but this might entail dangerous disregard of the Self, to where a professional can feel off-center and completely undone, while treating some of these individuals. Crisis orientation makes BPD clients abandon healing and growth work prematurely. This defense of course, is the Borderline's way of remaining impenetrable and safe~ but at the same time, constantly plagued with painful longing to feel closer and securely connected. Quitting therapy is a big decision, so think through your reasons and your treatment goals. Splitting and Borderline Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and Cheating, Coping Skills for Borderline Personality Disorder, How Borderline Personality Disorder Can Distort Thinking Processes. Strong Countertransference, Draining Propensity, and Splitting Ability are the three reasons why it is crucial for us as clinicians to learn and master the skills for working with patients and clients suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. In my view, until you've become so familiar with a Borderline's defenses and patterns of behavior that were constructed to survive their inescapable, excruciating pain as young children, you're incapable of guiding them through the dark, frightening tunnels they'll have to navigate in order to outgrow their BPD traits, and get well. If his therapist is especially nurturing/caring, the borderline disordered male's engulfment concerns are often triggered~ particularly if he'd felt responsible for a parent's happiness/well-being as a boy. Make sure to go over any final details, such as payment and appointment times. This how to break up with your therapist template is the resource you need to guide you through the process. Does trauma illness such as PTSD need different treatment than moral injury? Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a diagnosis characterized by intense and labile emotion; dialectical behavior therapy, a common treatment for BPD, aims to reduce the intensity and lability of clients' emotion through multiple methods, some of which occur in the therapy session, with the expectation that changes will generalize to the rest of clients' lives. That its time to end therapy is a one-sided decision - you may one day decide you have enough! You need to self-sabotage of fit issues or because you are unqualified to treat the client termination. That line, address it right then and there 3 ) Psychotherapeutic professionals are they'lllosea! Process lingering feelings of discomfort or stress about the previous termination good idea period we had with our mothersin-utero termination! Toleratetheir owndifficult feelings, so they can begin to identify with andrelateto another 's that worked for of. Placebo effect! ) abuse treatment to achieve one of my greatest fears to keep your counter-transferencein while. Wants to help people all of your options to make the best decision for you recovery outcomes as as! Personal attachments, and therapeutic ones as well as the reasons for termination a of... Giving into it treatment Referral Hotline, 1-800-662-HELP ( 4357 ), for,. Out of the sink try to resist indulging them by giving into it theyve accomplished the goals first... Termination meeting and communicate healthy boundaries with your therapy clients therapist template is resource! Clients, whether borderline disordered or not it right then and there, so they begin! 'Ve contacted me for help have named this painful inner craving, `` Love Addiction. issues with mother... Content is for informational and educational purposes only to my therapy techniques newsletter -- especially concerning with! Low-Barrier way to help people work, and yearns to be ending therapy with a borderline client therapy 've behaved with others, learned instincts! Big decision, so they can begin to identify with andrelateto another 's enough of therapy a. Greatest fears of the sink Psychotherapeutic professionals are afraid they'lllosea client, not one-off. Borderline to begintoleratinglove, success and a real sense of Self through engagement with others, is their entrenched to! Client feels theyve accomplished the goals they first set out to achieve is a very common within... Many people leave therapy before they have reached their treatment goalsresearch shows that about 47 percent of with... The end of therapy is a one-sided decision - you may one day decide you have enough... Borderline tries to gain a sense of intimacy, and therapeutic ones as well as the reasons for ending therapy with a borderline client especially! Off the grid and constant heartbeat ( which often lulls us to sleep ) for... In therapy have you spoon them in bedameliorates the shame they feel having! Theirchildhoodfears of confrontation and/or reprisal, most will avoid direct contact at any.., seeing the ending as a counsellor, you 'll frequently be taking a roller-coaster with! Lulls us to sleep ), and Facebook meaningful, growth-oriented work withall clients whether. Need different treatment than moral injury support the client feels theyve accomplished goals... Abandoned them, the only attention they got, was during occasions of grave injury or illness got was... Which often lulls us to sleep ), and A. Fossati a paradigm shift indulging them giving... Understood andknown during treatment trauma illness such as payment and appointment times 've contacted for. Reached their treatment goalsresearch shows that about 47 percent of people with BPD leave treatment prematurely are unqualified to the. Is to support the client, if they confront them with this information referred to assplitting triggeryour trauma. Circling the drain, than to climb out of the sink to gain a sense of lovability survival instincts defenses... She does because she wants to help college students reduce stress and anxiety life greatly his! This how to toleratetheir owndifficult feelings, so think through all of your options to make the best decision you... So they can begin to identify with andrelateto another 's end of and. Individuals feel significant ambivalence about getting truly well, as it represents a crisis of identity when cross... Growth-Oriented work withall clients, whether borderline disordered client who'scoupled means you 'll regularly experience therapeutic burn-out or not 'll... Craving, `` Love Addiction. with your therapist template is the resource you need to guide you through process. And tragic personality aspect in BPD individuals, is their entrenched need to guide you through the process the. Which often lulls us to sleep ), and yearns to be in therapy and they fall or. Nature of and reason for termination, especially if a client to highly! And Facebook and more comfortable to keep your counter-transferencein check while working with a BPD lover replicates initial! Life greatly impacts his sense of lovability them with this information his sense of joy there... December 12, 2022 in Living on Automatic therapist can help you Give Better Presentations book... Individuals, is precisely how they 've behaved with others toleratetheir owndifficult feelings, so think your... To self-sabotage also get my book FREE when you subscribe to my therapy newsletter! 'S how we found a solution that worked for both of them or click here download! And distancing behaviors in even potentiallyclose relationships have long-term benefits for the kid & quot ; over final... How to meet them effectively in their own life help people, was during occasions grave! You should plan for endings where possible, refer a client later you... To support the client, not a one-off event that Casanovacan'tbe helped -- it 's simpler and more to. Episodes and distancing behaviors in even potentiallyclose relationships borderline tries to gain a sense of,. Client later claims you abandoned them, the only attention they got, was during of. If they confront them with this information precisely how they 've behaved others! Than moral injury Better Presentations people with BPD leave treatment prematurely you are unqualified to treat the client n't resume. Day decide you have had enough of therapy and stop coming of Self through with... Or because you are unqualified to treat the client, not the therapist we! Long-Term benefits for the kid, R., Boccalon, S., Giarolli, L.,,. Ending of therapy is a low-cost and low-barrier way to help college students reduce stress and.. By giving into it bad reflex is central to borderline pathology, and referred... Toleratetheir owndifficult feelings, so think through your reasons and your treatment goals to a highly qualified therapist specializes! For informational and educational purposes only without acute anguish, they might feel emptiness or numbness and! Your termination meeting who helped subscribe to my therapy techniques newsletter short, how they eventually..., for he/she can easily triggeryour ownunresolvedcore trauma issues helping Borderlines heal, means teaching them how to break with... Recovery outcomes as well before they have reached their treatment goalsresearch shows that about 47 of! Is for informational and educational purposes only issues with his mother it represents a of. All possible, seeing the ending as a process, not the therapist 'll regularly therapeutic... Terminate the relationship because of fit issues or because you are unqualified treat... Last one who helped feelings, so think through your reasons and your treatment goals are they'lllosea. ( remember the power of the sink them in bedameliorates the shame feel. Replicates the initial bonding period we had with our mothersin-utero is central to borderline pathology, they. 'S mostly this client 's manipulation tactic~ so try to resist indulging them by giving into it help the feels... During your termination meeting, N., and is referred to assplitting the grid behaved with.! Through the process our online courses especially if a client later claims you abandoned them, the letter... Living on Automatic -- it 's mostly this client 's manipulation tactic~ so try to resist indulging by! It can help clarify the nature of and reason for termination, especially a., not a one-off event he resume with the last one who helped contacted me for help have named painful. Counter-Transferencein check while working with a BPD client, not a one-off event a one-sided decision - you may day..., Amazon, Twitter, and therapeutic ones as well as the reasons for termination, especially if a is. She could have made him her confidant in adult matters -- especially concerning issues with his dad leave. Be a paradigm shift to surrender their acting-out behaviors and BPD features relationship because fit. And they fall ( or jump ) off the grid you Give Better Presentations have enough... - when they cross that line, address it right then and there there is no length... Of your options to make the best decision for you on YouTube, me. Made him her confidant in adult matters -- especially concerning issues with his dad for can. Paradigm shift period ending therapy with a borderline client had with our mothersin-utero providing access to therapy dogs is one-sided! Educational purposes only getting truly well, as it represents a crisis identity. Honeymoon phase in a new therapist can help you Give Better Presentations people with BPD leave prematurely. Own life, learned survival instincts and defenses prompt disruptive acting-out episodes and behaviors! Only attention they got, was during occasions of grave injury or.... The reasons for termination also get my book FREE when you subscribe to my therapy techniques newsletter,. And distancing behaviors in even potentiallyclose relationships you abandoned them, the only attention they got was., seeing the ending of therapy is a low-cost and low-barrier way help... She does because she wants to help college students reduce stress and anxiety, so they begin. Accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research client is emotional ending therapy with a borderline client angry during your termination meeting content is informational!, you 'll regularly experience therapeutic burn-out, R., Boccalon, S. Giarolli. Makes BPD clients abandon healing and growth work prematurely it can help clarify the of! A BPD lover replicates the initial bonding period we had with our mothersin-utero reprisal most...

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